...Pop music is a cruel mistress.
I love pop music so much.
I hate pop music so much.
Both of those statements, at times, are true.
Let's focus on the positives first THEN we'll get into the character assassinations.
I don't want there to be an confusion here. I'm not talking about pop music as in any music that has found an audince. I'm talking about POP music. I'm talking about bubblegum for your brain. I'm talking about Kylie Minogue. I'm talking about The Backstreet Boys. I'm talking about Destiny's Child. I'm talking about The Beatles. I'm talking about The Jacksons. I'm talking about The Righteous Brothers. More recently I'm talking about Lady Gaga. I'm talking about Girls Aloud & yes, I'm talking about Take That (Mk.I & Mk.II).
Of course I am aware of pop's limitations. They are numerous. I am aware that commerce comes before artistry when talking about pop. I am aware that the words coming out of the majority of pop singers mouths did not come out of their minds. These are things one should never forget about pop music but I truly believe that when discussing pop music there's only one thing that truly matters. Songs.
Pop songs have got to be good. Of course they do. Otherwise they won't be pop(ular). But there are some pop songs that go beyond being simply good and head off into the territory of great. Obviously you can't please all the people all the time (to attempt to do that is to plow into the middle of the road). But there are certain writers, producers and artists that can please A LOT of people A LOT of the time.
I'm not a fool. I know the inconsistencies that abound within pop music. I know that pop music as a whole is a big umbrella. The huge entity that is pop music is a cruel beast that spits out as many turds as it does hits. I also know that individual pop ACTS do the same. For every fizzy moment of pop perfection like California Gurls Katy Perry bangs out a schmaltzy shout-marathon like Firework and she's only one in a company of hundreds. Due to the revolving door of writers and producers a group's output (especially when it comes to singles) can seem disjointed. Just look for, example at these three consecutive single releases:
These three songs come off the same album & they couldn't be more different. I personally think the first and third are two of the strongest British pop tunes of recent times while the second is foul. Yeah, it's got a nice sentiment and everything but it's just fucking cloying and unnecessary! Also it's hard to get much more inconsistent than to change a group's line up between single releases! But I think it's in the very make up of pop music to be interchangeable, inconsistent and for it to attempt to be all things to all people.
Of course this is all about personal preference and OF COURSE this isn't only a pop music phenomenon. Inconsistency is what makes all music more interesting. With a lot of other genres it's more of a tightrope though. You don't want to release a black metal album and then follow it up with an EP of country and western cuts. At the same time you don't want to release album after album of the same tired old shit.
I would like to point out right now that I am not being devil's advocate here. I genuinely am a big fan of pop music. I don't think this effects my worth as a critic or commentator in any way. If anything it enhances it. Look, not everything can sound like Warpaint. Alright?
What am I getting at with all of this? Basically I have begun to feel a little let down by pop music.
Firstly I don't understand the need to have a little rap in the middle of every song:
I truly believe the last time there was a decent rap interlude in a song was in 2002:
Clipse & J Timberlake, now how heavy is THAT?
Up until this point the mid song rap had been a novelty. A nice little element that had been implemented so well, usually in songs produced by The Neptunes.
Since this point it has become a hackneyed and tired enterprise ruined in no small way by Timbaland and Will.I.Am. There are some amazing three minute pop gems that are currently pushing four minutes because of a fucking pointless rap! (Gaga's another inconsistent outputter. She veres from quality to pap like a fucked compass.)
Secondly I don't know where the tunes have gone!
It may seem like a really old fashioned thing to say (believe me, I'm trying my hardest not to use the phrase "it's all a load of noise!") but there are so many pop songs these days that seem to do everything they can to avoid being tuneful. The worst offenders are The Black Eyed Peas by a country mile. Will.I.Am is responsible for some of the worst moments of recent pop music & it seems there's noone out there can stop him. I just don't understand how one man can be attached to so many atrocities and not be brought to account:
Fucking atrocious!
There are some quality exceptions to this rule. In fact possible the perfect rebuttal to what I just said is Beyonce's Single Ladies despite a strong nursery rhyme-esquee melody the song is basically tuneless. The production on the backing track is so sparse and consists in the main of what sounds like a sound effect rather than any discernible instrument. Until the final choruses the song repeats the same refrain and the same two sounds and yet it is utterly mesmerizing thanks in no small part to the incredible video. This is high concept pop music that has more to do with the avante-garde experimentation of this or even the low key meandering of this than it does with the high agressive wall of sound of this or the slick pop polish of this.
Thirdly I think that televised talent competitions have alot to answer for.
Please don't worry I'll be getting to the point very soon.
I know that some of you will now be rubbing your hands together thinking "Oooh good! He's now going to lay into X Factor! I HATE X Factor too!!!" I'm not. I think X Factor is fine. As far as entertainment goes I think it is a thing of pure quality. I can safely say that I have enjoyed watching hours of Popstars, Popstars The Rivals, Pop Idol & X Factor and I even enjoyed Fame Academy. I am comfortable in the fact that I also enjoy The Wire, The Killing (Danish), Newsnight, The Culture Show and other worthy efforts so anyone with a problem with this can eat a dick up.
TV pop shows are mostly harmless entertainment. They are not killing the music industry and they are not making the musical landscape a poorer place. People that complain about these shows seem to have missed the point that they can turn off their TVs. These TV shows haven't stopped people from releasing brilliant albums. They have not prevented real artists from releasing their work unto the public. They are just a forum where people can switch off their executive functions and boo at someone's opinion like a herd of cows.
I do think, however, that the problem is that TV pop music shows like X Factor have skewed people's perceptions on both sides of the aisle. What I think is missing is a sense of perspective.
The show's viewers would like to think that it is they who are in control of the process. That each person who phones in to vote for the next pop star is somehow a shareholder in the process. That by backing a winner, by deciding that something is popular, that they are in some way a mogul. It is easy to get swept away in the high drama of the moment but this is very much not the case.
The show's producers can see what the public are thinking and will try and nurture this misconception while at the same time closing their grip on the process even tighter. They seem to think that the popularity of the shows means that they can do no wrong and can and will put out any old shit that will generate them huge amounts of money.
While it is true that they can and will make a killing I would like to offer up a phrase that is very pertinient "just because you can doesn't mean you should".
This is now where we get to the point.
Just because you can DOES NOT mean you should.
I can't think of a single better example of this than:
This is basically the worst song I've ever heard.
For so many reasons.
To name a few:
It's a car crash splicing together 'Beep' & 'My Darling Clementine'
That American accent (she's from Malvern, Worcester)
Use of the words swagger & jagger in such close proximity
The disgusting product placement
Repeated use of the phrase 'my swagger's in check'.
It doesn't make a solitary shred of sense.
Never before have I felt so insulted by pop music. Previous X Factor output has been poor across the board (with the exception of Leona Lewis) but not insulting. At times it has been laughable (Alexandra Burke), boring (Joe McElderry) or pointless (Leon Jackson, Shayne Ward etc etc etc) but never before have I felt the need to rage against this will all my might. This is everything pitiful and upsetting about pop music that I am able to look past (basically a four minute phone advert, pointless nonsense lyrics, references to social media, excessive costume changes, constant and targeted misogyny, deference to Will.I.Am) without a single one of pop's redeeming features (an actual melody, strong melodic hooks, lush production, high production values, a killer middle 8, catchy chorus).
There is only one way to combat this. Listening to pop music that gets it right! Very recently there has been one pop music release that has gotten it very VERY right indeed:
Again, this is all objective but you have to admit at the very least it's better than anything Cheryl or Nadine have done since Girls Aloud. Yes it's an obvious attempt to get street cred points (Diplo production, Major Lazer sample, Joe Mount collaboration on the way) but accusations of blog baiting aside she gets A LOT of things just right (she looks well cool, only two costume changes, discreet product placement, that Major Lazer sample (I mean, come on!), singing with an accent...HER OWN!).
At times I worry that the things that make pop music brilliant are going to be edged out by the things that are destroying my faith in it. Other times I just have to listen to a few of these to calm myself down again...
The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
The Beatles - Help
The Jacksons - Can You Feel It
Madonna - Lucky Star
Prince - Pop Life
Talking Heads - Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place)
Take That - Pray
TLC - No Scrubs
Aaliyah - More Than A Woman
Daft Punk - Digital Love
*NSYNC - Girlfriend
The Knife - Heartbeats (LIVE)
Phoenix - Too Young
Girls Aloud - The Loving Kind
Pet Shop Boys - Love Etc.
Robyn - Hang With Me
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