Lovely Little Albums

"When you're close to me
It is all right,
When you are close to me, I can forget"

Mission of Burma - Forget

Lovely Little Albums

We all have them. You know that record that simply brightens up a trip into town on a rainy day? That’s one. That album you have on in the background whilst waiting around at home after ordering a curry? That’s another one right there. In fact, chances are, you’re probably listening to one right now.

This column is a celebration of these records and the people behind them. A unique species of LP, they are characterised by their general niceness, quirkiness and (in most cases) unobtrusiveness.

Sure, they don’t soundtrack life’s ecstatic climaxes or crushing disappointments. They just perk up the minutiae of the everyday. But that’s OK, because you somehow know they’ll always be there for you.

It’s almost inevitable. Girlfriends will leave you, friends will let you down. The Lovely Little Album however, is practically guaranteed to do none of these things. Because, for 36 minutes or so, you know exactly what’s coming; the next verse, the next melody, the next song. And its all good.

No matter what the place or time, The Lovely Little Album sounds just as good now as it did when you first heard it. It takes you back. It helps you forget, yet amazingly, still allows you to get on with things. It is this perfect combination which makes these albums rank amongst the best ever made.

Kittypants

A Song For Broken Homes by Lights Of Paris

Those sly hounds Lights of Paris write some of the most affecting and haunting tunes but A Ballad For Broken Homes is a new peak for Patrick Fitzroy and his merry crew.

We filmed this footage at the Live & Loaded festival in Crawley this month & it's a slow burner for sure! The storm clouds gather gradually building an intense atmosphere only for Patrick's voice to cut through the haze. The ebb and flow of the song eventually breaks into beautiful overlapping squalls of Mark Rivers' piano and Patrick's guitar. Anthony Fitzroy's bass is, as usual, a solid support for the unruly emotional upheaval of his brother's voice while Craig Brown's drumming moves from understated to bombastic without missing a beat. You could feel the shift in the room after this song had finished. I was reminded of the first time I heard How I Made My Millions.

It's hard to think of another band at this level that are equal to LoP for songwriting & showmanship. It takes a huge amount of talent and guts to unleash a song like this live, especially at an alldayer on a stage where moments earlier a rapper had finished his set followed by a band trying to goad the audience of children into starting a circle pit with very little success.

I love this band and this song is beautiful. I cannot wait for the album.

Getting To The Bottom of It With Press To Meco

They're about to deliver their massive choruses & three layer vocal sandwiches to the punters of REDfest but for now... Press to Meco Are:

www.facebook.com/presstomecouk www.myspace.com/presstomecouk www.twitter.com/presstomecouk www.youtube.com.com/presstomecouk


1. Biscuit or Cake?

BISCAKE!

2. What is your guiltiest musical pleasure? (one per band member)

Lewis - Ke$ha


Luke - The Venga Boys
Adam - Toto

(Look it up motherfuckers!)

3. Favourite live music experience.

Sorry we couldn't think of an answer due to getting distracted by instructional videos on "how to kiss passionately" on YouTube. . .

(TFM would just like to state that we've just assumed that the boys got this wrong and actually meant "How To Kiss PassionALTY" like what YouTube says.)

4. At the park do you prefer the swings or the roundabout?

Roundabout. . . with two girls & the back wheel of a scooter spinning it.


5. If you could play a full gig of music anywhere in the world where would it be & why?

Under the Sea. It's so much better down where it's wetter. Under the Sea.



6. Would you rather be the owl or the pussycat? State THREE reasons.

The owl.

1) We Get to hang out with Pussy.
2) It will be acceptable for us to sing about Pussy to kids.
3) We could fly.

7. What would win in a fight a chicken or a duck?

Chicken. They're NUTTERZ! Don't trust a bird that can't fly.


(The description for this video says "JUST CHILLIN AT THE PARK WITH MY SON AND WE WERE LEAVING AND OUT OF NO WHERE IT HAPPENS". Then out of nowhere I go home and out of nowhere I record this sic four-to-the-floor dance tune to accompany two chickens fucking each other up. Only so I could calm my son down you understand. I think it was the shock.)

8. Would you rather have a dick for a nose or an arsehole for a mouth? (both in full working order)

DICK FOR A NOSE ANY DAY!
Though we easily talk enough shit to have a bumhole mouth :P

9. It's Friday night. You've had a tough week at the fudge factory & you're going out tonight to cut a rug. You're getting pedicures on your toes toes, trying on all your clothes clothes & boys are blowing up your phones phones. What one song will get you all in the mood for partying?



10. It's morning & you've woken up in a bin behind Bar Med again. Once you get home what album will make you feel human again?




11. What would make your hometown music scene better? (whatever you write for this we will change it to something about Teenagers From Mars and how great we are....FYI)

Something like a "Barfly" venue in town specifically for live music. Preferably one run by, or at least with a night promoted by Teenagers From Mars. Obvs.

12. If you were asked to go to space by Bruce Willis in order to save the earth would you do it? Why?
Yeah!

As long as we'd be back in time for Jersey Shore!

Why?

Otherwise there would be no more Jersey Shore. . .Luke & Lewis LOVE Jersey Shore.

♥

Dizzy Tales: Live at BB Heath Leisure Centre (with purple juice in support)

Hello friends, welcome to the world of Messrs Ladybird.

Moving on, my first action will be to tell you that in the peculiar, pleasant, peculiarly pleasant surroundings of Broadbridge Heath Leisure Centre, a wonderful collection of men, women, children, and a Fireman Sam-skirted lady saw Dizzy Tales deliver an impressive set of catchy, hook-laden numbers that suggest these young whippersnappers could go far.

Despite the perils of bastard vending machines and lights hotter than a unicorn riding on the surface of the sun, the band tore through their tracks with confidence, with each member bringing a distinctive style to the mix.

Andy Boud's lead vocals swooped and swooned impressively, and he strutted around the stage with confidence, while he was admirably backed up in this regard by the rest of the band, notably the bassist Tom Dulson.

He goes a little further than most bassists, with a few of the main melodies coming through dextrous fingerwork, allowing Joe Woodhead's lead guitar work to shine through. His style is a little reminiscent of Chilis guitarist John Frusciante, with long hair flowing and high backing vocals adding to the mix, while being able to crack out a great solo at the same time.

Adam Ellis' drum work was tight and allowed the rest of the band space to breathe, giving the audience the chance to take in the melodies while carrying the rhythm and essence of the tracks well.

After recently being featured on BBC Introducing: The South (first track on the show), Dizzy Tales have the talent and the energy to put on a great live set. With an EP available as well, they should be playing to bigger crowds as a matter of course, so catch them before they truffle shuffle their way out of Crawley. Go on, I dares ya...

Check out a delightful video put together by TFM of the boys in action at this very gig.

Some of the delightful art work from Broadbridge Heath Leisure Centre - if you like ass-pinching then this is for you.

12 REALLY important questions for Ornament Tournaments

Ornament Tournaments are about to drop their eagerly awaiting mini album of unspecified name and length. It’s about regrets and consolations, and it’s 6 months in the making.


To fill the OT gap before its arrival TFM nabbed moments of the boys time (while two of them were in Asia no less) to ask them the only questions that really matter.



1. Biscuit or Cake?

Joe: Cake.

John: Ah just luv’ a bit of cake.

Dec: Bourbons.


2. What is your guiltiest musical pleasure?

Joe: The ‘Wicked’ soundtrack

Dec: I Had a phase of listening to The Saturdays' album whilst doing some garden work for my Grandad. That and Rihanna.

John: I’d say Panic at the Disco but I don’t feel guilty any more. Most people remember them from their first album (which is awesome anyway) but their second album, ‘Pretty. Odd.’ is a masterpiece. I’m indifferent about their new release.
(Check out this, the most awkward EVER interview with Panic At The Disco & Alexa Chung who is being, frankly, a right snarky fucker.)

3. Favourite live music experience.

Joe: I was at reading 2010 and I thought I’d grown out of it and thought I'd become cynical about all music. then, Arcade Fire started playing and I was like 'fuck'. I wasn't really that in to them before, and I was really getting in to it. then they played 'Power Out' and I was like 'fuck, this is perfect' and my world was suddenly broadened all over again, like that scene in 'Almost Famous' where the kid listens to his sister's vinyls for the first time.


John: That’s a really hard question. On one hand it might be seeing Foo Fighters at Wembley; seeing one of the biggest rock bands at their biggest gig to date, and being near the front was something else. But at the same, it can be the smaller ones that really give you ‘that’ experience. Last year a friend and I were in New Zealand. We’d been at Big Day Out festival and had seen bands like The Mars Volta and Muse, but it wasn’t that. Naturally we were dehydrated and shattered at the end of the day, so we went for a drink on some high street bar. We heard some acoustic singer-songwriter that sounded nice but we thought ‘whatever’. But when we sat down I was just taken away. He played the loveliest, most innovative covers of ‘Knocked Up’ by KOL, ‘Free Falling’ by Tom Petty, and ‘On Top’ (my favorite Killers song). His voice was just something else. I’ll never forgive myself for forgetting his name.

Dec: Really stuck on this one. If I had to pick one it'd be Phoenix at Reading 2010. Couldn't possibly describe the atmosphere. Just amazing.




4. At the park do you prefer the swings or the roundabout?

Joe: Swings for sure. Roundabouts just spin your head. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I'll take the swings instead. I just can't understand the appeal.

John: Yeah, agreed.
Dec: Toughy, but roundabouts because they have so much potential for carnage.



5. If you could play a full gig of music anywhere in the world where would it be & why?

Joe: The Jools Holland show.

John: Absolutely the Jools Holland show, or the Letterman show. Most of our favorite bands have played at least one of them, and I’ve found some of my favourite bands through them.

Dec: Anywhere with free beer. Literally, anywhere. Favourite venue I've been to so far is possibly The Hope in Brighton. It's so intimate and sweaty; it's lovely.



6. Would you rather be the owl or the pussycat? State THREE reasons.

Joe: the owl; cats are bad, owls can fly, cats are bad.

John: An owl, so I can twist my head all the way round and trip people out and dress backwards and shit like that.

Dec: Stupid fucking question. (It's no stupider than the previous or next ones...)


7. What would win in a fight a chicken or a duck?
Joe: I don’t even know.

John: I don’t even know.

Dec: I was actually having this conversation the other day whilst walking around Hoan Kiem lake in Ha Noi with Naz. Chickens. Don't even ask why.

(if a chicken can kill a man it'll defo fuck up a duck!)

8. Would you rather have a dick for a nose or an arsehole for a mouth? (both in full working order)

Joe: A dick for a nose so I can...

John: Yeah, a dick for a nose. The bowcating possibilities are endless!
Dec: A dick full stop.


9. You're at home with your best friends getting ready to go out for a lovely evening of dancing. You're drinking Lambrini and doing each other's make up. What one song will get you all in the mood for partying?

Joe: 'The Hustle' by Bars of Gold. Only true hype music.


John: ‘All the things she said’ by t. A. T. u.

Dec: That Americano song.


10. It's the Sunday morning after the night before, your makeup is all smudged, your knickers are on backwards, you’ve got rug burn on your knees, what album will make you feel human again?

Joe: The idea of 'humanity' is a concept created in order to try and separate us as a species from the rest of the world's animals. Trying to make myself feel more human would be suggesting I endorse a pantheistic way of thinking and that I wish to further distance myself from the already vague connection I still have with the earth. That's just not cool, dude.

John: ‘Pershing’ by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. Aaah.

Dec: ‘Wolfgang Amadeus’- Phoenix.



11. What would make your hometown music scene better? (Whatever you write for this we will change it to something about Teenagers From Mars and how great we are....FYI)

Joe: More gigs and less blogs. Tee hee. Except for Teenagers from Mars obvs. They’re radical!

John: Maybe I’m being apathetic or maybe it’s just ‘cus of where we’re from and all that but I think you have to just let your local music scene just do its thing. 80% of the people who used to go to local gigs don’t anymore, which is fair enough, but as fads and ‘cool’ music change so do the demographic. This is all very obvious but it’s all about finding a town with a thriving music scene. Why didn’t we think of that a long time ago. But having said that if there were to be some kind of collective that could bring all the disparate groups of music fans together in order to alert them about up coming bands and the fact that there IS a thriving hot bed of talent in the local area that will eventually begin promoting their own night that would be keen!........What?.........You mean TFM IS that group!?! Well thank god for them!!!!

Dec: An actual music venue. There's nothing bar a couple of pubs and a youth centre at present. Somewhere with a bar, a decent PA and decent promotion would be very much welcome. I’m sure you Teens From Mars will COMPLETELY AGREE. I also think a venue endorsed and promoted by TFM is something that would probably be best.


12. What’s your favourite ornament?

Joe: The Buddha, always the Buddha.

John: Whichever wins.

Dec:

An introduction to The New West....

Today class I am mostly going to be concentrating on the New West, a Hip Hop movement coming out of the West Coast that is so fresh, revitalizing and most importantly fun, that I think you might just have to slip in to your weekend socks.

To comprehend why I think it's such a great development you first have to understand something, up until a year ago I had been a Hip Hop purist, sampling breaks, intricate rhymes schemes and sausagefest gigs were my religion. But I started to notice the typically 90's New York Boom-Bap sound was still prominent in 2010 and was slowly starting to remind me of that moment you are at a Family gathering and Auntie Sue brings round her famous Trifle, it tastes good every time, but you really wish one year she'd at least try a different flavour of Jelly. It just became utterly bland, I still found my head nodding but I didn't really know why. The beats were becoming boring, usually a looped sample, bass and drums for three minutes whilst an emcee spits a four line chorus, and a sixteen line verse x 3, and sure a rapper who can come up with crazy multisyllabic rhyme schemes is technically amazing, but so are the inner workings of my washing machine and I have never cared to find out how that thing gets my long-johns sparkling white. Also, lets be honest even at its best the pseudo-politics of certain rappers rhyming about the way the illuminatti is taking over and seven headed dragons ruling the earth is becoming tedious. If I wanted to listen to that kind of rhetoric I'd sit with stoner Dave a tad more, watching him gobble seven bags of cheesy Wotsits whilst telling me how 9/11 was 'an inside job maaaaaaaaaan'.

Hip Hop is ultimately party music, it started that way in the boogie down Bronx, but somewhere along the way the fun got extracted, of course there were amazing political messages in the early days, but for every Public Enemy's 'Fight the Power' there was a Biz Markie rapping about picking boogers, you had a choice, that choice had been lost....Until now.

They say to every thesis is an antithesis, and the antithesis to Auntie Sues Trifle, is the best bag of Pic'n'Mix you have seen in your life (think Tangfastics but with drumstick lollies and those little white chocolate buttons with hundreds and thousands on....yeah that fucking good). The New West incorporates so many influences, that it is not only hard to find two groups that sound alike, but its also hard to find yourself getting bored with these young whippersnappers. Their influences range from the Bay Area Hyphy movement, old school G funk, all the way to Eminem and the Neptunes. Most of the scene are barely out of school, angry at the way hip hop is going and are trying doing something about it. The way they've achieved this? by not taking themselves too seriously. Over-using slang, naming songs ridiculously, and generally not being the best rappers in the world seems to be the key to the game here, mix that with some fun synth based beats and you are on to a certain winner. But enough talking, let me introduce you to the the motley crew.

I can't really start this without talking about the guys that seem to be getting the most love from the industry at the moment, OFWGKTA (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All). you probably know these young renegades through Tyler The Creators viral video for Yonkers. But there are 60 members to this group, the best in my opinion are Hodgy Beats, Earl Sweatshirt, MellowHype and of course Tyler. These anarchists are far from slackers and impressively have racked albums up into the double digits before penning any deals. Check French and EARL Below:

If you are more thugged out, or like me use gangster rap as ghetto escapism ( I need something to drag me away from my World of Warcraft girlfriend) Nipsey Hussle may be for you. With impressive delivery over hard beats and a face that makes you wonder what Snoop Dogg was up to 9 months prior to his birth, he comes out swinging with this anthem Hussle in the house:

its obvious that some industry heads must be taking notice as Kreayshawn, part of the newly found White Girl Mob has just penned a million dollar deal with Sony after her anti designer Jam 'Gucci Gucci' got her over 2 million views on youtube in under a week. The chorus is catchy and it's refreshing to hear a women who raps about other stuff besides how 'good she can do your man'.

The Get Busy committee are a group of gnarly white boys coming out of L.A. Consisting of Ryu, Apathy and super producer Scoop DeVille, they come with a plethora of 808 drums mixed with some killer 80s samples, check out the title track from their soon to be released second album ' Opening ceremony' with lyrics like 'you're so booty, I'm so boozy, take off your pants and jump in my jacuzzi' I don't know how you couldn't like it....

Pac Div are next, formed of two brothers Mibs & Like and their close acquaintance Be Young, they have blended old school 8 bit synths with Hyphy drum beats and catchy choruses to create hip hop that even women will dance to.

And last but not least Lil B The Based God, the rapper who probably takes this not being serious stuff...well ...really seriously. He really cant rap that well and his songs are mainly about being Ellen Degeneres, or Paris Hilton, or a robot, but there is something about him that makes him utterly endearing. For me its the fact that he cares so little about what the usually homophobic Hip Hop community thinks that he has decided to call his latest album 'I'm Gay'. After releasing the album title he received thousands of death threats but still stuck to his guns, and I applaud him for that. He has a legion of fans that find him utterly entertaining(all you need to do is search 'thank you based god' in google images to prove this) and I honestly cant work out if he is one scotch egg short of a picnic or an absolute genius, either way I love him and you should too

Well boys and girls, that's it I hope you enjoyed the lesson in New West 101, and yes I do understand that writing an essay about why hip hop should be fun is utter hypocrisy, but if you have got this far more fool you.

Oh and one other thing, Fuck Puff Daddy (More on this later)

Industry Schmindustry

In July 2007 on his radio show David Byrne had this to say about the ailing music industry:

"...The writing's on the wall...The big 4 or 5 (Record Labels), should give the catalogues back to the artists or their heirs as a gesture before they close the office doors, as they sure don't know how to sell music anymore... The "industry" had a nice 50-year ride, but it's time to move on... A new model will emerge that includes rather than sues its own customers, that realizes that music is not a product in the sense of being a thing — it's closer to fashion, in that for music fans it tells them and their friends who they are, what they feel passionately about and to some extent what makes life fun and interesting. It's about a sense of community — a song ties a whole invisible disparate community together..."

I think that hits the nail SQUARELY on the head. There are some terrified execs barricading themselves into their boardrooms with their fingers in their ears trying to hold off the inevitable.

The music industry and all who hang from its crumbling façade have begun trying a new tack in recent years. They have begun releasing and attaching themselves firmly to their annual Ones-To-Watch lists like flies to sticky paper they use for catching flies. It almost always ends up making them look even more demented and clueless.

A few years back Florence Welch had a Brit award made up for her. It was something along the lines of Best British Act That A Committee of Clueless Suits Has Decided To MAKE You Like This Year. She had a good year. You couldn't avoid the two good songs off her album (Rabbit Heart or Dog Days Are Over) because they were on every channel's ident, flagship tv show, advert & blaring out of every shop.

The following year twee little doe-eyed moppet Ellie Goulding got a similar prize and was then given a similar year of ubiquity with her ONE song and a breathy and dreadful cover of a song off of Moulin Rouge (this is how hip and modern the industry are) that was used on a John Lewis advert (achingly cool!).

This year Jessie J has had this dubious honour thrust upon her & has since been outed as a lez and it's been revealed that she too only has two songs (the rest being sappy shit).

The interesting thing about the way the industry launches these acts is the way that they start off boldly and then run straight back to the tired & testes ways of old. I'm not saying that making up an award especially to be given to someone at a party thrown for a Croydon stage school is PARTICULARLY bold or edgy but it does take a certain amount of roguish dash. It's the closest the industry have come to revealing in the harsh light of day what goes on behind their greasily sealed doors. After receiving this award a strong single will be released and people will go "oh ok, yeah I can see what they mean." After that they rush the release of an album that is a dog turd.

In space noone can hear you shrug.

It's so predictable and it's so boring and it just goes to show that they don't have a fucking clue what they're doing. Albums aren't selling. The only rationale behind releasing an album for these acts is so it can garner critical acclaim and thus prove that the industry can still pick 'em. What these albums prove is that they don't know how to do anything other than release a big single followed by a second single and album followed by the rest of the barely palatable filler from the album.

I can't say to you that I've heard a large cry from the masses DESPERATE to hear a Jessie J album track. I can't say that. Cos it's not true. The two songs she released were alright. Dead catchy. Good for a car advert or something. She's not reinventing anything she's singing over a jingle. If you like that kind of thing that's fine. If you don't have any other expectations from music that's fine. It's not art. It's artlessly done. It's basically pointless but it's fine. What I object to is how it exposes the short sightedness of the industry and yet they'll just do it again next year and that act will then run the exact same mediocre gauntlet.

I saw Jessie J (charisma vacuum) interviewed and she boasted that she was the first ever act to play the American used-to-be-really-funny-now-it's-just-ok comedy show Saturday Night Live without having recorded a debut album. That is a coup-and-a-half for her PR people. Seriously well done! She has got some clout behind her for sure. It just begs the question, why did you then feel the need to release an album? If you can do those things, get those things done, without an album, with only two half decent pop tunes, why then go on to release a testament to edge-less filler? It baffles the mind.

What really funny is that this is supposed to be Jessie J's year. 2011 is supposed to have had a cast iron fringe placed upon its head. But almost every pop fan is buying Adele's album instead. Obviously Adele's a product of the Brit school & was the recipient of the original 'made-up' Brit award (Critic's Choice 2008) but she seems to have taken everyone by surprise. The industry is scrabbling around trying to pretend they saw it coming but they just look like a bunch of twats.

Oh well. Fuck 'em.

There are now more ways and means available to people to express themselves then ever before. Artists no longer need a major industry to promote or package or distribute or produce their work. Which is a good thing really seeing as the industry could find its arse in the dark with two hands.