TFM: Seriously taking My Tiger My Timing to task!

My Tiger My Timing have just got back from opening the John Peel Stage at Glastonbury. They are a five-piece who are based in SE London. Two of them grew up there. The others didn't. One of them is from Crawley. They've got a single out on August 1st.

That's all very well but I want to know is which, if any, of them wants a cock for a nose?

Biscuit or Cake

Anna - Limp Bizkit!

Gary - Biscuit

James - Biscuits, unless we're talking Cheesecake. That's the king of all
sweet treats.

Seb - Always the biscuit.

Jamie - Biscuit. For tax purposes.


What is your guiltiest musical pleasure? (one per band member) -

Gary - Country music. Especially Wichita Lineman!


James - Simply Red, and that's barely guilty. Just. A. Good. Band.


Anna - UB40, no guilt!


Seb - Happy Hardcore


Jamie - There is a serious lack of guilt about our musical peccadilloes in this band. For me, I’m aware that I shouldn't love Bon Jovi as much as I do but you have to admit Livin’ On A Prayer is where choruses go to die. I’m also a sucker for the tapping solo in In Too Deep by Sum41. Sue me jack!


Favourite live music experience.

James - (MTMT) Playing at Astra Stube in Hamburg was great! Proper sweaty little gig. We even did an encore. Felt like The Beatles.

Seb - There have been many... some are credible, some not so much.
The entire Reading Festival 1998, Blur in Hyde Park last year, Vampire Weekend with the rest of the band at Isle of Wight - New Found Glory at the Borderline 2001 ;)

Jamie - (MTMT) Berlin with Phoenix. Hands down. 3,000 people. Easy.

Gary - I've had loads. Blur at Hyde Park, Queens of the Stone Age at Brixton to mention just two. But my favourite was my mate Hilly's band at the Front Page in Carlisle. He was really nervous so decided to get proper hammered. He got on stage, played one note then threw his guitar through a very small window. The gig lasted 5 seconds. Amazing!!

Anna - (MTMT) Playing John Peel Stage at Glastonbury - there are loads to choose from but this has to be up there


At the park do you prefer the swings or the roundabout?

James - Swings.

Gary - Oooh, definitely the swings!

Seb - It's all about the slide brother - but if pushed (literally) I'd say the swings. I like going really high and doing a big jump off at the end.

Anna - Swings, I get sick on the roundabout

Jamie - Swings. We’re talking SERIOUS ralphing on the roundabout!



If you could play a full gig of music anywhere in the world where would it be & why?

Seb - Benicasim festival I think or maybe Torquay - I'm from there you know.

Anna - Hawaii for the sheer opulence of it (I'm imagining a Roxy Music scenario)

James - Glastonbury. Pyramid Stage. On Last.

Jamie - I’ve got a list of things that I’m ticking off as we go. Concorde2 was big on that list and playing there did NOT disappoint. Same with Glastonbury. I think for me it’s Brixton Academy next. I’ve seen so many shows there that getting onto that stage would be like....WHAAAAAAT!!??!?! Either that or The Paradiso in Amsterdam. You can’t whack a converted church!

Gary - Ibiza would be nice cos it would be a dead good party. Either that or King Georges Hall in Blackburn. It's a lovely building y'know!


Would you rather be the owl or the pussycat? State THREE reasons.

Anna - I need to re-read this...okay, the whole set-up is confusing, the owl is a bit of a weird perv and the cat is a floozy, but I guess I'll go owl -

a) power of flight,
b) super vision and
c) ability to play a guitar.

Jamie - The Pussycat:

- She seems to be calling the shots.
- She knows what she wants & she knows how to get it.
- She’s an animal of honour. A year & a day on a boat with an owl and she didn’t munch him. Loyalty!

Gary - The Owl.

1. He had a sweet voice
2. He seems quite easy going. The pussy cat is like "Ooh, let's get married" and the Owl is like "Yeah, alright, fair enough".
3. Owls are cool and pussycats are selfish. So there.

Seb - The pussycat:

i. Cats are awesome
ii. The cat would know what to do with all that money
iii. The cat would be able to get involved in the honey, where as the owl would have hella trouble beaking away at it.

James - Owl.

1.) He plays guitar.
2.) He know where the Bong-trees grow.
3.) He can eat from a runcible spoon.


What would win in a fight a chicken or a duck?

Seb - Duck - such a handsome creature... and I've always perceived chickens to be stupid. Ducks know how to play the game. (See what I did there)

Anna - A chicken has better claws and beak but I think the duck's multi-terrain abilities (land/air/water) would give him the upper hand.

Gary - Chicken. They seem a bit more aggressive to me.

James - Chicken. Less to lose.

Jamie - Duck. More to prove.



Would you rather have a dick for a nose or an arsehole for a mouth? (both in full working order)

Jamie - Dick for a nose. Although I am concerned about mouth-obscuring balls....

Anna - Hmm the long-standing debate, I think a dick nose would give you a niche appeal in underground sex clubs so you could probably make a reasonable living if you embraced the situation.

James - Dick for a nose. Self explanatory.

Seb - Dick for a nose. Imagine the smell of that arsehole in such close proximity to your nose.

Gary - Dick for a nose. It'd look funny and I'd I'd be able to join Slipknot. Finally.


The chips are down. You're going out. The taxi's booked and you're wearing your sparkly jeggings. What one song do turn up loud to get you from pumped to PUMPED?

Seb


Jamie


James


Gary


Anna



You got in at 4am. You've got blistered hoofs & a pig has shat in your head. You need to spin an album to get your brain back for good. What album?

Anna - 'Fear of the Dark' by Iron Maiden

Gary - The Trials of Van Occupanther by Midlake is lovely.

James - Warpaint - 'The Fool'.


Seb - Weezer - Pinkerton

Jamie - Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin


In the past few years you've made some amazing progress in the music industry. There have been some massive achievements and cool collaborations Who's the biggest prick you've met on the way?

James - The music industry itself is one massive prick.

Anna - there are so many...they far outweigh the good guys (a select and notable collection). You encounter innumerable puffed-up, pompous prats in other bands on the circuit, but at least they're trying to do something productive; it's the industry leeches who are the worst offenders, crap coke-sniffing, band-wagon-jumping, pay-to-play promoters are up there with some of the shoddiest.

Jamie - I think Anna’s right that the pay to play promoters are by far the biggest twats in the music industry that we’ve encountered so far. Although there are a few promoters who AREN’T pay-to-play that really have no clue what they’re doing and I’ve no clue what they’re doing it for. Some of them have full moustaches on their foreheads too. Other than that, miniature shitheads with small-man syndrome and delusions of grandeur/persecution complexes must be avoided at all costs.

Seb - Aye.

Gary - I don't think I've met anyone I would feel strongly enough to call a prick.


What has been the single worst live music experience for you so far?

Anna - we did one of those crap multi-venue city 'festivals' last year which was pretty shocking, the stage was covered in water, the venue was stiflingly hot, the show ran about 3 hours late, the sound was appalling and we got paid about £4 for the pleasure.

James - Too many to mention, none I'd care to recall.

Jamie - I try and take a positive away from every live show... I can’t fucking stand sound checks though. Across the board they are mind-numbing, ear-splitting, time-sucking shitters.

Gary - We played a gig at a club in Shoreditch once and there was about 10 bands playing. Each and every one where terrible. It ended with some solo girl singer naked and singing in French. I wouldn't have minded but she were pretty rough looking. In terms of playing I would say any gig where I have been too drunk. I play like a right arse when I'm drunk.

Seb - Playing some shit'ouse pub in Dalston where there was a lake of beer on the stage and the risk of being electrocuted was significantly high. Also - Northampton was pretty weak. Aye.


Let's picture a scenario. You've been asked by your management/label/fans to do a collaborate with a specific person. It's a high profile event collaboration that will be seen worldwide. It's impossible for you to back out of it and just have to grit your teeth and get on with it. In this scenario who would be your NIGHTMARE collaboration & why?

Seb - Des’ree - I just have a real problem with her. Hearing her music makes me really angry and unhappy.


Anna - this is quite a difficult question, I can think of lots of people who wouldn't really fit with what we do, but then I think, "hmm collaboration with Shaggy could end up being okay if we did it right" - I think it might be hard to maintain much cred if we had to work with Nickelback though...


James - The English National Opera. I'm dressed like the guy from the 'Go-Compare' ads and I'm about to try to hit the high note - but I can't - there's no way...

Gary - Anything to do with free jazz. It's just a bunch of people playing completely different songs to one another.

Jamie - We all try to be so accommodating I really think this could happen, we could very easily get talked into a collaboration that we’re too polite to back out of. I think a comic relief venture where we had to lark about with ‘comedians’ would be my ultimate nightmare. I'd admire the charity element but if I had to appear on stage with that wall-eyed jerk Russell Howard I’d probably dirty protest right on the floor in front of Lenny Henry. Starving African kids or no.


What's the best bit of free shit you've been given?

Seb - The bottle of Jagermeister in Daarmstadt comes close second to Fred Perry clothes.

Anna - Gotta love the Raybans...Reeboks...Fred Perry... keep us looking freshhh!

Jamie - A cup of tea. In a mug. At a festival. Bliss.

Gary - I never really buy anything too extravagant so anything that will last longer than an evening is great.

James - Some advice: "Get out of here, this place is burning down."


You do alot of these interviews. What one question have you not been asked that you wish you had? And what's the answer? (at this point I will write that you said TFM have asked all the best questions in this interview. FYI)

Anna
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Llama farmer

Gary
Q: Who else would you like to be in a band with?
A: Tony Mccarroll. An absolute crime that he got sacked. Oasis never made another good album after he left. It's true.

Jamie
Q: If this band doesn’t work out what will you do next?
A: Fuck you!

James
....
A: With my socks on...

Seb
I can’t think of anything you haven’t covered to be honest. There’s nothing more. I can safely say that this was one of the best interviews we’ve ever done. Thank you.

Endless Summer by mytigermytiming

This is so frustrating I could just...

...Pop music is a cruel mistress.

I love pop music so much.

I hate pop music so much.

Both of those statements, at times, are true.

Let's focus on the positives first THEN we'll get into the character assassinations.

I don't want there to be an confusion here. I'm not talking about pop music as in any music that has found an audince. I'm talking about POP music. I'm talking about bubblegum for your brain. I'm talking about Kylie Minogue. I'm talking about The Backstreet Boys. I'm talking about Destiny's Child. I'm talking about The Beatles. I'm talking about The Jacksons. I'm talking about The Righteous Brothers. More recently I'm talking about Lady Gaga. I'm talking about Girls Aloud & yes, I'm talking about Take That (Mk.I & Mk.II).

Of course I am aware of pop's limitations. They are numerous. I am aware that commerce comes before artistry when talking about pop. I am aware that the words coming out of the majority of pop singers mouths did not come out of their minds. These are things one should never forget about pop music but I truly believe that when discussing pop music there's only one thing that truly matters. Songs.

Pop songs have got to be good. Of course they do. Otherwise they won't be pop(ular). But there are some pop songs that go beyond being simply good and head off into the territory of great. Obviously you can't please all the people all the time (to attempt to do that is to plow into the middle of the road). But there are certain writers, producers and artists that can please A LOT of people A LOT of the time.

I'm not a fool. I know the inconsistencies that abound within pop music. I know that pop music as a whole is a big umbrella. The huge entity that is pop music is a cruel beast that spits out as many turds as it does hits. I also know that individual pop ACTS do the same. For every fizzy moment of pop perfection like California Gurls Katy Perry bangs out a schmaltzy shout-marathon like Firework and she's only one in a company of hundreds. Due to the revolving door of writers and producers a group's output (especially when it comes to singles) can seem disjointed. Just look for, example at these three consecutive single releases:







These three songs come off the same album & they couldn't be more different. I personally think the first and third are two of the strongest British pop tunes of recent times while the second is foul. Yeah, it's got a nice sentiment and everything but it's just fucking cloying and unnecessary! Also it's hard to get much more inconsistent than to change a group's line up between single releases! But I think it's in the very make up of pop music to be interchangeable, inconsistent and for it to attempt to be all things to all people.

Of course this is all about personal preference and OF COURSE this isn't only a pop music phenomenon. Inconsistency is what makes all music more interesting. With a lot of other genres it's more of a tightrope though. You don't want to release a black metal album and then follow it up with an EP of country and western cuts. At the same time you don't want to release album after album of the same tired old shit.

I would like to point out right now that I am not being devil's advocate here. I genuinely am a big fan of pop music. I don't think this effects my worth as a critic or commentator in any way. If anything it enhances it. Look, not everything can sound like Warpaint. Alright?

What am I getting at with all of this? Basically I have begun to feel a little let down by pop music.

Firstly I don't understand the need to have a little rap in the middle of every song:

I truly believe the last time there was a decent rap interlude in a song was in 2002:


Clipse & J Timberlake, now how heavy is THAT?

Up until this point the mid song rap had been a novelty. A nice little element that had been implemented so well, usually in songs produced by The Neptunes.

Since this point it has become a hackneyed and tired enterprise ruined in no small way by Timbaland and Will.I.Am. There are some amazing three minute pop gems that are currently pushing four minutes because of a fucking pointless rap! (Gaga's another inconsistent outputter. She veres from quality to pap like a fucked compass.)

Secondly I don't know where the tunes have gone!

It may seem like a really old fashioned thing to say (believe me, I'm trying my hardest not to use the phrase "it's all a load of noise!") but there are so many pop songs these days that seem to do everything they can to avoid being tuneful. The worst offenders are The Black Eyed Peas by a country mile. Will.I.Am is responsible for some of the worst moments of recent pop music & it seems there's noone out there can stop him. I just don't understand how one man can be attached to so many atrocities and not be brought to account:



Fucking atrocious!

There are some quality exceptions to this rule. In fact possible the perfect rebuttal to what I just said is Beyonce's Single Ladies despite a strong nursery rhyme-esquee melody the song is basically tuneless. The production on the backing track is so sparse and consists in the main of what sounds like a sound effect rather than any discernible instrument. Until the final choruses the song repeats the same refrain and the same two sounds and yet it is utterly mesmerizing thanks in no small part to the incredible video. This is high concept pop music that has more to do with the avante-garde experimentation of this or even the low key meandering of this than it does with the high agressive wall of sound of this or the slick pop polish of this.

Thirdly I think that televised talent competitions have alot to answer for.

Please don't worry I'll be getting to the point very soon.

I know that some of you will now be rubbing your hands together thinking "Oooh good! He's now going to lay into X Factor! I HATE X Factor too!!!" I'm not. I think X Factor is fine. As far as entertainment goes I think it is a thing of pure quality. I can safely say that I have enjoyed watching hours of Popstars, Popstars The Rivals, Pop Idol & X Factor and I even enjoyed Fame Academy. I am comfortable in the fact that I also enjoy The Wire, The Killing (Danish), Newsnight, The Culture Show and other worthy efforts so anyone with a problem with this can eat a dick up.

TV pop shows are mostly harmless entertainment. They are not killing the music industry and they are not making the musical landscape a poorer place. People that complain about these shows seem to have missed the point that they can turn off their TVs. These TV shows haven't stopped people from releasing brilliant albums. They have not prevented real artists from releasing their work unto the public. They are just a forum where people can switch off their executive functions and boo at someone's opinion like a herd of cows.

I do think, however, that the problem is that TV pop music shows like X Factor have skewed people's perceptions on both sides of the aisle. What I think is missing is a sense of perspective.

The show's viewers would like to think that it is they who are in control of the process. That each person who phones in to vote for the next pop star is somehow a shareholder in the process. That by backing a winner, by deciding that something is popular, that they are in some way a mogul. It is easy to get swept away in the high drama of the moment but this is very much not the case.

The show's producers can see what the public are thinking and will try and nurture this misconception while at the same time closing their grip on the process even tighter. They seem to think that the popularity of the shows means that they can do no wrong and can and will put out any old shit that will generate them huge amounts of money.

While it is true that they can and will make a killing I would like to offer up a phrase that is very pertinient "just because you can doesn't mean you should".

This is now where we get to the point.

Just because you can DOES NOT mean you should.

I can't think of a single better example of this than:


This is basically the worst song I've ever heard.

For so many reasons.

To name a few:

It's a car crash splicing together 'Beep' & 'My Darling Clementine'
That American accent (she's from Malvern, Worcester)
Use of the words swagger & jagger in such close proximity
The disgusting product placement
Repeated use of the phrase 'my swagger's in check'.
It doesn't make a solitary shred of sense.

Never before have I felt so insulted by pop music. Previous X Factor output has been poor across the board (with the exception of Leona Lewis) but not insulting. At times it has been laughable (Alexandra Burke), boring (Joe McElderry) or pointless (Leon Jackson, Shayne Ward etc etc etc) but never before have I felt the need to rage against this will all my might. This is everything pitiful and upsetting about pop music that I am able to look past (basically a four minute phone advert, pointless nonsense lyrics, references to social media, excessive costume changes, constant and targeted misogyny, deference to Will.I.Am) without a single one of pop's redeeming features (an actual melody, strong melodic hooks, lush production, high production values, a killer middle 8, catchy chorus).

There is only one way to combat this. Listening to pop music that gets it right! Very recently there has been one pop music release that has gotten it very VERY right indeed:


Again, this is all objective but you have to admit at the very least it's better than anything Cheryl or Nadine have done since Girls Aloud. Yes it's an obvious attempt to get street cred points (Diplo production, Major Lazer sample, Joe Mount collaboration on the way) but accusations of blog baiting aside she gets A LOT of things just right (she looks well cool, only two costume changes, discreet product placement, that Major Lazer sample (I mean, come on!), singing with an accent...HER OWN!).

At times I worry that the things that make pop music brilliant are going to be edged out by the things that are destroying my faith in it. Other times I just have to listen to a few of these to calm myself down again...

The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling
The Beatles - Help
The Jacksons - Can You Feel It
Madonna - Lucky Star
Prince - Pop Life
Talking Heads - Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place)
Take That - Pray
TLC - No Scrubs
Aaliyah - More Than A Woman
Daft Punk - Digital Love
*NSYNC - Girlfriend
The Knife - Heartbeats (LIVE)
Phoenix - Too Young
Girls Aloud - The Loving Kind
Pet Shop Boys - Love Etc.
Robyn - Hang With Me

Low performing songs from C’Mon – Barbican, London 4 June

Low are a truly special band. Formed as a joke at the height of grunge’s high-gain heyday, its hard to imagine early audiences in 1993 considering this Duluth, Minnesota trio even existing eighteen years later, never mind selling out prestigious venues. But then again, rock 'n' roll has a habit of taking funny turns like this.

Frequently pigeonholed into a niche little sub-genre dubbed “slow-core”, Low are simply unique. The band’s melodies are rich and nourishing, but unlike Ida, stop short of coming over as sickly sweet. Sparse arrangements grow and rejoice in reverb, but in a way that’s more nuanced than Codeine’s dramatic use of dynamic range and reverential feedback. With an avant-rock savvy to match Labradford, Low can easily satisfy the most fastidious of Wire readers yet still write songs that sound like songs. That’s not to say any of these other bands aren’t great in their own ways, because frankly, they are. It’s just that over nine albums and another nine EPs, Low have earned a reputation for themselves as musically fearless and ultimately, peerless.

With that in mind, you’d be forgiven for thinking expectations would be high for tonight’s performance of songs from their latest album, C’mon. After the hushed crowd politely take their seats in the 2,000 capacity venue, the band walk on stage, heads down, all dressed in black. Barely noticing the audience, frontman Alan Sparhawk plugs in his Les Paul with a disgruntled buzz, fiddles with his little amp and shakes his head a bit before launching straight into a long, slow, distorted riff which can only be likened to Beat Happening covering a Harvey Milk tune. All of a sudden, these piercing shards of amplifier squeal wash away to reveal Nothing But Heart. As the song gradually builds up, it becomes clear that the vocal harmonies of Sparhawk and drummer Mimi Parker are still as powerful as ever. Only this time, they soar with renewed fire in their bellies and a forceful feeling of pressure and release (a trick the band later repeats on Majesty/Magic).

At the other end of the scale, songs such as $20 and Done are coloured with a distinct tone of weariness - giving them an extra fragility than their album versions - whilst Especially Me and Try To Sleep are invigorated with an almost hypnotic heartbeat-like sense of pulse and propulsion.

As far as Low records go, perhaps the biggest surprise of C’Mon is its general lack of surprises. Witches boasts a cranky distortion reminiscent of 2007s Drums and Guns. Sparhawk’s echo chamber guitar on Nightingale harks back to 1995’s Long Division. The album’s closing track, Something’s Turning Over is not unlike some of the bands acoustic covers captured on 2004’s A Lifetime of Temporary Relief. And that’s no bad thing. C’mon’s solid, confident, songwriting makes this album serve as a perfect introduction for one of the most important (yet overlooked) bands of the last twenty years by showcasing everything they’ve learnt along the way. Thanks in part to live keyboardist Eric Pollard and new-ish bassist Steve Garrington, tonight’s encore of older classics such as Laser Beam, Two Step and (That’s How You Sing)Amazing Grace, are subtly re-worked and freshened up but still retain the sacred minimalism that made these songs so special in the first place.

Low have never been ones to hang around the same places for too long. And that, dear readers, is the essence of their charm. At the very least, they make music that is interesting, at the very most you’re almost certain to fall in love with them. Either way, based on tonight alone, it seems fair to say that in another eighteen years from now, they’ll still be selling out venues somewhere.

In the meantime, watch some of their videos:

Words - I Could Live In Hope (1994)
Shame - Long Division (1995)
Over the Ocean - The Curtain Hits the Cast (1996)
Will the Night - Songs for a Dead Pilot (1997)
Weight of Water - Secret Name (1999)
Dinosaur Act - Things We Lost in the Fire: (2001)
Canada - Trust (2002)
Death of a Salesman - The Great Destroyer (2003)
Breaker - Drums and Guns (2007)
Try to Sleep - C'Mon (2011)

http://www.chairkickers.com/

I Am A Morning Robot - Winter Surf

It's video postin' time again!

Those cheeky little bastards I Am A Morning Robot were attempting to goad some young children in starting a circle pit when they played the Live & Loaded Festival last month.....they were unsuccessful. Wildly unsuccessful.

This song fucking rocks though. MASSIVE postcard collection too!